Experiencing Truth - The Light of Jesus

Today I went to The Crossing. I love that place! This is the most unique church ever. The people there are so caring... Anyway they started a new series. The series there has always been 'The Experience' but now for the summer they're altering it to 'Experiencing Truth'.
All in all youth group went good! Except the game for the night was that dumb chinese 'wah' game... Oh well... I sat out.

1 John 2:3-6 (New American Standard)
3 "By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. 4 The one who says, 'I have come to know Him,' and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; 5 but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: 6 the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked."

Andy (the youth pastor at The Crossing) challenged us to keep this scripture in mind during this week. So figured I would meditate on it tonight and then hopefully think about it throughout the week.

After reading this scripture I think that it says that to truly be close to God and be 'hardcore' for Him you must keep His commandments. Easy enough right? WRONG. Yeah I've never killed a person, but I know I struggle with lust. And in Matthew it says "that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." There you have it. Commandment broken.
I want to KNOW God. Like I feel close to Him... Especially after starting this whole Challenge thing. But I want to truly KNOW God. I want to surrender everything to God and let Him take full control of my life. I just want to be able to serve my Father exactly how He wants me to... And I definitely do not want to be called a liar like this verse eludes to for claiming to KNOW God.
I want to walk as Jesus did. I want to show EVERYONE the love of Jesus. I asked God to start showing me my failures that I overlook. The things I do that are bad that I've become accustomed to and don't think are wrong. I'm guessing that this coming week is going to be the worst best week of my life. God is moving in me. I'm going to be stripped down and He is going to take control after I clean up my act.
Well I'm off to bed. Got an exciting day of work tomorrow! I get to help set-up the high school server tomorrow!
Keep me in your prayers this week!

God Bless

Happy Father's Day!

Church today wasn’t bad. I don’t know if I actually went in with a good attitude towards BCC (my home[?] church), or if the service was just particularly good. Worship today was especially good. I have only ever actually felt connected to God twice my whole life during worship at BCC. Today was that second time.

The sermon wasn’t even bad! It was on Faithful Fathers (it IS Father’s Day!). The scripture was out of Genesis 22. We’ve all heard it before: the story of how God tested Abraham by commanding him to sacrifice Isaac, Abe’s only son.
This story was always fascinating to me when I was younger. I always wondered why God would demand that His most faithful servant, Abe, to kill his son. I was even more amazed by the fact that Abe actually was going to do it. He had FAITH in God. TRUE FAITH.
My new Bible that I received for Graduation from the Plymouth Church (where I consider my TRUE home to be…) is the New American Standard translation. It’s also a study Bible and as the Bowen pastor read through the scripture I glanced at the foot notes. I was interested to find that Bible scholars think that Abe actually knew that God was going to either stop him from killing Isaac or was going to raise Isaac from the dead once Abe did sacrifice him. I never realized that. I think that this revelation can actually do two things for the story:
1) Take away from the significance of how devoted Abraham was to God. It now could be thought that Abe just knew that God was going to deliver Isaac so he didn’t really care that he was killing his son.
Or
2) It could add to just how much Abraham believed in God. He was so faithful that he KNEW that God would give Isaac back to Abe.

After church I gave my dad the Father’s Day gift I bought last night. I gave him National Treasure 2 and two boxes of Good and Plenty. He was happy! Heh… Now I’m on my way to my cousin’s house with my parents, my little sister, my niece and my nephew. The latter of which I was privileged enough to sit by. He actually isn’t being too bad right now. He went crazy earlier when I was texting a friend and I wouldn’t give him my cell.

I’m excited for this family outing for once. Usually they’re all awkward because I don’t really know my family very well, but my Uncle Gary and Aunt Jan from Georgia are going to be there and I don’t get to see them very often. They’re my favorite…

EDIT: We arrived at my cousin’s house. It’s a nice little house in the country and his wife did all the interior design and let me tell you: she did GOOD! The house looks amazing inside and out. Anyway the whole point to this edit is because my favorite Aunt and Uncle aren’t here… I must be confused on what family outing they’re coming too. Too bad. I guess I’m in for another awkward family thing. On a side note the food was good!

Well I’ll blog later… I’m still going to post a scripture today because the one early this morning was for yesterday.

God Bless

utterly stupid

It's 2am on sunday. i forgot to post earlier the scripture so i'm posting now b/c i just got home...

i went to my g/f's house to watch a movie...we ate at BDub's...it was good!
then i went to a friend's house to play halo...
Only we didn't play halo. We messed around for the longest time and then prank phone called people...
bad idea.
i'm done with pranks officially.
we pranked one of my xbox live friends and when i got home i had three messages from him tell me how disappointed he was in me that i call myself "christian but then i screw around with him and his whole family at 2am."
i felt terrible. i messaged him back telling him how stupid it was and how sorry i am...

this sucks. i try so hard. and then i pull some stupid crap like that...

Psalm 34:18
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

I'm glad I thought to look in that grad book. I flipped to the 'Grief' section and found this Psalm verse. I thought it was pretty fitting for the situation. I feel like crap.
However, this verse gives comfort. I need to understand the my Father is with me. He has my back. I don't need to grieve for my stupidity. This verse offers forgiveness and salvation.
I'm eternally grateful for God's sacrifice of His own Son. Honestly I just need to start letting go more of my life. I need to fully give Him control. I want whatever is in His will. Not mine.
Well I need rest for church tomorrow.

God Bless

OCD Dream

I JUST woke up. I had the worst dream for an Obsessive Compulsive person. I have undiagnosed OCD because I don't believe in going to the doctors or psychologists... Anyway the dream before I forget it:

It all started in a really skanky business of some sort. It was in a mangy run-down building. Some of my friends and I (at least I assume they were my friends... I already can't remember) brought our Nintendo 64's to this place to system link (which isn't possible) and play Mario Kart Wii (which DEFINITELY isn't possible). Okay well I kept both of my controllers on my system so I didn't have to worry about losing one of them or getting them confused with a friends or someone else.
Well everything was going good until this employee showed up and wanted to play. For some reason the employee HAD to play on my system with HIS controller. So the person that was already playing on my system got up and left and took my controller with him. Then all the sudden the employee wanted to leave and he left HIS controller. So I didn't think anything of it until we quit playing and packed up.
My good controller was there but the other one was gone. In its place was a generic N64 controller that was greasy. A HUGE no-no to an OCD person. At least it is to me. I immediately go nuts... I'm on a rampage to find that employee. I ask all my friends if they have my controller and they didn't.
Then all the sudden the dream shifted:
I was still in the same building, but apparently I wasn't looking for my controller anymore. I was sitting on a couch. And this very old lady that used to baby-sit my little sister (in real life) was next to the couch in a wheelchair (she doesn't have a wheelchair even though she's like a million years old). All the sudden I asked if she was okay and she responded, "No, the mouse bit me."
Now let me tell you I'm DEATHLY afraid of mice and insects. I know... I'm weird.
I run away from her and go and try to find help for her. I run up stairs of some sort and Bill Twaddell (a guy from my church) is suddenly there... RANDOM! Anyway I tell him that Glenadene Webster (the old lady) needs help she's been bit by a mouse. Then Greg Flesner (one of my friend's dad) is there and he's acting like an exterminator. He's looking at all the vents and giving suggestions and stuff.
Finally I get mad. I'm not sure if I'm mad that I still can't find my controller or if I'm mad that they never helped the old lady. I run over to something (I can't remember what) on the floor and flip it over in my anger. There's ANTS EVERYWHERE. I scream and try to run. I can feel them all over my feet and so I run while scraping my feet on the ground in an effort to get the ants off. The last thing I remember is sitting in the fetal position on the top of a couch and looking out as billions of ants crawl my way. Then I woke up.

Wow. I've never recorded or been able to remember my dreams before... This is great!
I hope you enjoyed this.
Will blog later.

God Bless

of the World

The rest of my day went smoothly enough. I went back to work after lunch. I worked in a computer lab on computers rather than in the server room on laptops... It was still boring. After work I went home and prepared for a friend of mine to come over and play Halo3 with me. He and I are rooming together in the fall at the Uni... He's cool. We pwned some no0bs online and then he had to leave to go to his g/f's house.
Speaking of g/f's mine is coming home from Indiana tomorrow! she's been at a CIY (Christ in Youth) convention all week. We've talked and texted... I get to see her tomorrow so that's cool. Its only about 8 o'clock and i have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my day...
Well here's the scripture for the day...............:



John 15:18-21 (New American Standard)
18 "If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out the world, because of this the world hates you. 20 Remember the word that I said to you, 'A slave is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they kept My word, they will keep yours also. 21 But all these things they will do to you for My name's sake, because they do not know the One who sent Me."

I have heard this verse many times. Today I just randomly opened my Bible and this is the first verse I saw... The world is a terrible place. God knows that. He put us here with the sole purpose of bringing/giving Him glory. So why isn't the world doing that? The people of the world are so lost. They must not know that, quite simply, they're going to hell.
This verse talks about how followers of Christ will be tormented, killed, and made fun of. All of this done to them just because we believe in who God is, and that He sent Jesus to die for us.
The little blurb about the slave and his master hit home for me. I'm prideful. I can be proud. Often times I'll find myself looking down on certain people around me. Why do I do this? More often than not its because I see myself as being greater than them.

This thinking is so wrong.

The last part of the verse talks about the reason the world hates Christians is because they don't know God. They don't know that God lowered Himself to our level in the form of His own Son and then allowed His Son to be killed. And not only killed but BRUTALLY beat and killed.
Well the solution to this problem is summed up in the Great Commission:
Matthew 28:18-20
18 "And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, 'All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.'"
We have to tell the world what's up. We have to show them the love of Jesus. The promise of eternal life.

We have to help them understand that they would rather be us than torment us...

God Bless

work is redundant

wow...
work is boring right now. all morning i've been given the job of turning on every laptop in the school district i work for and letting them register themselves on a tracing program. so i take the laptops out three at a time, turn them on, and let them update themselves.
while the latops turn on i have free time so i've just been randomly browsing the server. i found the video footage from the high school musical... had fun watching that... i may take some of it and post it here... who knows...


I know... Looks fun right?


i woke up today for the idea that it was going to be a new day. i prayed to God just to help me through THIS day. I'm gonna take this challenge one day at a time.

welllllllll my lunch break is over. gotta go
i'll blog later

God Bless

EDIT: I added pictures and also I just found an interesting verse for this blog...
i never knew this was in the Bible: "All hard work brings a profit." -Proverbs 14:23

Perseverance.

James 1:12 (New American Standard)
12 "Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him."

I went to grab my Bible which usually is on the floor of my bedroom right next to my futon. However it wasn't there and I remembered that I actually brought it to church this past Sunday and it was still on the downstairs dining room table. So I went to fetch it and when I got back up in my room I noticed a very small book on the back corner of my desk. Its title was "Promises for Graduates."
It was a gift from the local church where I attended Baccalaureate. It has about every problem a college student would ever encounter living life on their own. And then to accompany the problem there are many verses that help you solve that problem. Since my last blog was titled "The Challenge" I flipped to the 'challenge' page. That is where I found the James scripture.

First I want to talk a little bit about my day and then I'll come back to the scripture:
It was a typical day. I was late for work (thanks Jamie T.). I worked late to make for it. I talked to a friend about my Orientation experience. I mowed my dad's mechanic shop lawn. Here's where it got a little interesting (depending on how you look at it):
During work I had been reading various blogs (thanks Ian) and was trying to open up to God and relinquish control to Him. I got home from mowing and was planning on doing nothing... Maybe PhotoShopping a banner for my blog (which I got done btw...), but then my mom yells up the stairs for me to come down.
I went downstairs and she said that a guy from our church called and said his mower broke. He wondered if I would be willing to go and mow his yard today, right now. I hate saying that God was testing me, because Job told us we're not to accuse Him of this. But this seemed like a very pivotal moment for my relinquishing. I failed miserably. I asked my mom if she was serious. Then, by the look on her face, I grudgingly consented.
The whole time I was on the mower (about an hour), I was thinking. About how we're called, as Christians, to give willingly. I suddenly felt sick. I couldn't believe I'd already failed my 'mission'. In the end I finished the mowing and asked the guy if he needed any other help. He gratefully thanked me and asked how much he owed me. I told him it was on the house and left. I felt better not taking money for it, but I still could have had a better attitude about it.

Perseverance:
1) steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
2) continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.
These are the definitions from Dictionary.com...
Isn't that just amazing? The second definition. Wow. That's what I began to think after I had failed God's 'test'. I must persevere on. I did my best to 'fix' my selfishness, so now I need to go back to where I was before. Overlook my failure.
Because:
That's what God does: Overlooks my failures.

God Bless